Questions:

1.  Is this a defensive reaction: Raising your hand in class when you’re confused about what the teacher is explaining.

• Yes
• No

2.  Is this a defensive reaction: Cory saw $20 drop out of the pocket of the kid walking in front of him, and decided to pick it up and keep it for himself.

• Yes
• No

3.  Is this a defensive reaction: Julia was so mad at her boyfriend, Bobby, for not calling her after practice that she ignored all of his texts and calls the rest of the week.

• Yes
• No

4.  Which of the following are good ways to handle an accusation from someone that’s not true?

• Letting them think what they want to think.
• Denying what they’re saying and trying to see how they’re wrong.
• Showing vulnerability if it’s someone you care about.
• Getting mad at them and never talking to them again.

Discussion prompts/Journal Exercise:

• How easily do you allow yourself to become defensive?  How defensive do you get when you do become defensive?
• Defensiveness is something that gives us relief in the short run, but in the long run, it can cause us and the people we end up caring most about a lot of emotional pain.  Keep a tally of your defensive reactions over the next day or two, to ensure that you’re getting a realistic picture of yourself.