Consider this example again: Julia was so mad at her boyfriend, Bobby, for not calling her after practice that she ignored all of his texts and calls for the rest of the week to punish him, so that he doesn’t do it again.The following are some possible reasons why Julia got mad at Bobby for not calling her:

• He told her he would.
• She had something very important to talk to him about, and he didn’t care.
• She doesn’t trust him, and this is how he’s supposed to prove he’s trustworthy.
• She feels insecure about their relationship.
• She’s feeling insecure in general.

Questions:
1.  Which reasons fall into an ‘external locus of control’ category?

• He told her he would
• She had something very important to talk to him about, and he didn’t care.
• She doesn’t trust him, and this is how he’s supposed to prove he’s trustworthy.
• She feels insecure about their relationship.
• She’s feeling insecure in general.

2.  Which reasons fall into an internal locus of control category?

• He told her he would
• She had something very important to talk to him about, and he didn’t care.
• She doesn’t trust him, and this is how he’s supposed to prove he’s trustworthy.
• She feels insecure about their relationship.
• She’s feeling insecure in general.

3.  Which reasons is she most likely to get defensive over?

• The reasons that fall in the “external locus of control” category.
• The reasons that fall in the “internal locus of control” category.

Discussion prompts/Journal Exercise:

• In the previous example about Julia, if she chose to have an internal locus of control, what would be some better solutions to her problem?
• Look back at one of your previous answers from this course (or think of another one) of when you reacted defensively and do the same type of analysis as you just did for and come up with a list of your possible reasons for reacting that way.
• The main reason for not easily getting defensive is ____________.