Lesson 7:  Identifying resentment

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1.  Is this a defensive reaction: Raising your hand in class when you’re confused about what the teacher is explaining.

  • Yes
  • No

2.  Is this a defensive reaction: Cory saw $20 drop out of the pocket of the kid walking in front of him, and decided to pick it up and keep it for himself.

  • Yes
  • No

3.  Is this a defensive reaction: Julia was so mad at her boyfriend, Bobby, for not calling her after practice that she ignored all of his texts and calls the rest of the week.

  • Yes
  • No

4.  Which of the following are good ways to handle an accusation from someone that’s not true?

  • Letting them think what they want to think.
  • Denying what they’re saying and trying to see how they’re wrong.
  • Showing vulnerability if it’s someone you care about.
  • Getting mad at them and never talking to them again.

Discussion prompts/Journal Exercise:

  • How easily do you allow yourself to become defensive?  How defensive do you get when you do become defensive?
  • Defensiveness is something that gives us relief in the short run, but in the long run, it can cause us and the people we end up caring most about a lot of emotional pain.  Keep a tally of your defensive reactions over the next day or two, to ensure that you’re getting a realistic picture of yourself.